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My icarly blog mix-up febuary 2009-june 2011
So this week an iCarly fan wrote to us and asked, "Do you guys ever work out at a gym?" What kind of question is that? Of course we work out at gyms. We're there all the time-- Lifting weights, flexing, and doing other gymy type things. Want proof? Here take a look: UPDATE: CHECK OUT YOUR MUSCLED UP PICS! CLICK HERE! Up until yesterday I was more famous here in Seattle than my brother Spencer. NOW, however, I'm known as the sister of "THAT CRAZY PILLOW GUY." Not sure if you heard the story, but Spencer ACCIDENTALLY ordered 200 pillows INSTEAD of only 2 at some website called Pillow My Head. We thought it might be because he has really long, awkward fingers and they sometimes go wild on the keyboard. BUT, it turns out that Pillow My Head's software multiplied EVERY order made that day by 100. So if you bought 3 pillows, you ended up with 300. Some poor guy in Portland ordered 12 pillows the same day as Spencer and now he has 1,200. And, since the company's policy is NO REFUNDS, Pillow My Head REFUSES to take any of the pillows back (which I understand 'cuz who wants a pillow that some dude laid his greasy head on). So Spencer found out on SplashFace that 105 pillows were ordered that day, which meant that there were over 10,000 unwanted pillows out there. So, this is what my BRILLIANT, yet slightly out of his mind, brother did: He contacted everyone and ORGANIZED the greatest pillow fight this country has EVER seen! See, Spencer thought he had it all figured out: The news would cover the story. He would tell the reporter how bad Pillow My Head is and get refunds for everyone. Not so much, Spencer... Turns out, the news came and covered the story, BUT Spencer was having too much fun pillow fighting that he forgot to complain. Pillow My Head's sales went through the roof 'cuz of the free publicity. They city slapped Spencer with a HUGE fine. PLUS, they made him clean everything up. Let's just say 10,000 pillows HAD a lot of feathers in them! Check out Spencer today: Yo, Sam here with another THRILLING blog for you guys! Just thought I'd share some excuses I've used over the years for being late to school. BTW, They all worked! Good luck, slackers. If you get in trouble... it's not my fault. 1. "My dog ate my mom's car keys." (This one's funny because I don't have a dog and my mom's driver's license was revoked.) 2. "A crocodile escaped from the zoo and bit off two of my toes. I was getting them re-attached." 3. "The President called. He wanted me to pick up his dog from daycare and bring it to The White House. So I did." 4. "My scooter ran out of gas." (Cuz really who is going to question that?) 5. "I fell asleep on a bench outside of BF Wangs -- Chinese food makes me sleepy." 6. "I was receiving a medal of honor for something very important which I cannot tell you about." 7. "I was mobbed by a bunch of angry Squirrel Scouts cuz I forgot to pay for my Fudge Balls. Those little brats are NOT messin' around." 8. "I was helping an old lady cross the street -- She took FOREVER!" 9. "I got stuck behind a sweaty biker wearing tight, white biker pants. I had to stop and vomit." 10. "My alarm clock broke" -- which was true, but what I didn't tell my teacher is that it broke because I threw it at the wall when it went off. So Carly and I were walking around the park chasing ducks (we were really bored), when this talent scout guy came up and asked me if I wanted to be famous. He said that they were making ads for a new skin care product and that I was perfect for their new campaign. So I said yes (who wouldn't?) and the next day I was at a commercial studio! The best thing about the studio was the fancy cheeses at craft services. Oh, I guess you don't really care about that. Anyway, back to the story. It was good cheese though -- it was the kind that didn't smell all stinky like feet. Anyway, all I had to do was stand in front of a camera, smile, and give a thumbs up. They gave me $400. It was awesome... ...until, a couple weeks later, I was sitting on a bus and no one would sit next to me! Someone even asked me if it hurt to sit down. Weird question, I thought. Then, I went to the grocery store and the guy at the counter refused to touch my money and gave me my milk for free. On my way home, it seemed like everyone I passed either pointed at me, laughed at me, or did a combo of both. I had no idea what was going on, until I saw this billboard by my house: These billboards are all over the city. Oh man, that sooooo wasn't worth $400. Hey guys! Guess What?! I got a Man Bag!!! See, a week ago I got this awesome gift in the mail. It was a Man Bag! I don't know who sent it to me, cause I threw away the box it came in. I guess it's a mystery I'll never solve. But I LOVE my new bag! You can store all kinds of stuff in it. Now, I can bring everything I need for my daily adventures everywhere I go! Man, I don't know what I did before this! You wanna know what's in my Man Bag??? Awesome, huh?! Um... Spencer, this is Carly... that is not a Man Bag. That is actually MY PURSE! I bought it online and had it shipped here a week ago. I thought it got lost in the mail! Give it back! I was just looking at the calendar and realized Monday is President's Day! I was totally going to write the President a letter but then I felt bad and didn't want to make him read it on his day off. (The President does get President's Day off right? I mean, everyone else does!) So, I wrote the Vice President a letter instead. He's probably not too busy. Here's the letter I wrote: Dear Mr. Vice President, I have a few questions for you. When you get a moment, please tweet me the answers. 1. Are you mad that there is no "Vice President's Day"? Because I could totally get behind that idea if you need support. I'm always looking for a way to get a day off. Wait, I don't have a job -- so for me, every day is Vice President's Day! 2. Who's your favorite Vice President? Mine is either the dude who invented the internet or the one with the funny mustache. 3. Do you have to get the President a gift on President's Day? If so, what are you getting him? I'd get him an ice cream maker. Everyone loves those. 4. Do you ever not want to shake hands with someone... like a world leader with really sweaty hands? I'd keep antibacterial wipes in my pocket if I were you. That's just free advice from me. You can thank me later. 5. Doesn't "vice" usually mean something bad? Like: "My only vice is online shopping." If I were you, I'd change my job title to something more flattering like -- President's Special Helper. 6. I got a parking ticket yesterday that I don't want to pay. Can you take care of that for me? TTYL, Spencer Shay Have no fear… Freddie's here! So… as I sit here ALONE in front of my computer, I can't help but wonder how things would be different if I had a girlfriend. Just off the top of my head, here are things that would be funner to do if I had a GF... --Checking my text messages. Right now the only text I have is from my mom and it says, "Don't forget your doctor appointment, cuz you need to re-fill your ointment." (I really wish her texts didn't rhyme.) --Canoeing. Paddling all by myself is really hard and my arms get sore. --Picking up my favorite cucumber-melon moisturizer at Bathroom Body Perks. If I had a girlfriend with me, we could just pretend it was for her and the cashier wouldn't look at me weird. --Going to the Groovy Smoothie. This is basically because T-Bo makes fun of me for not having a girlfriend. He calls me "Not-Going-Steady-Freddie." --Ballroom dancing lessons. Currently my dancing partner is my cousin Suzy and her head gear always pokes me in the eye. --Tandem bike rides. It's no fun riding a two-seater bike by yourself because people are constantly pointing at me saying, "Hey, I think someone fell off your bike." --And finally the thing that would be way more funner if I had a girlfriend is... popping back zits. Have you ever had a girl pop your back zit? It's awesome. (Okay, I did NOT write that last one!!! Sam hacked into my iCarly account again! Honest!) -Later, Freddie P.S. I do NOT have back zits!!!